Claiming the Writer Within

I have always had trouble proclaiming things about myself.  When I was in my twenties, I was afraid to call myself a feminist for fear that some true feminist would declare my failure to earn that title.   Thirty years later, I laugh at the idea that there is one way to be a feminist; at the idea that some one else could tell me whether or not I am, or was, a feminist.  In the same way, I have had trouble labelling myself a Writer.

I do a lot of writing for work. I do research on environmental issues  and write reports on my findings and recommendations.  These reports are distributed widely within a very small circle of people who work on, or care about, these issues.  They are posted on websites.  I am actually quite prolific in my field; I have written about 25 of these reports over the years.  I have been told that I write well; that I have a way of writing about technical and policy issues that makes them accessible to decision-makers.  BUT I still don’t think of myself as a Writer.  I think of myself as a policy analyst, an environmental health expert, as someone who does a lot of writing for her work.

For me, the word Writer means something more than what I do.  I think of a Writer the way I think of an Artist; as someone born with some innate talent that cannot be gained with training or experience.   In my mind, a Writer is someone who writes novels, poetry or inspirational books; someone who marries imagination, heart and soul with words to create magic on paper.  To me the title, Writer, has been too sacred, too scary to claim for myself.  I think I am afraid of being found wanting at something that is too important to me.

But something has happened to me over the 16 months in which I have written these weekly posts.  Little by little I have felt the inner Writer emerging.  Some weeks, I have written from the heart to say what I need to say.  Other weeks, I have written from a place of finding a small truth deep within myself.  And some weeks, I have written with no agenda, for the pure pleasure of writing.  And somewhere in this process, I realized that I AM a Writer.

I am someone who lives through words; someone who processes the world with words; someone who understands her life by writing.  I am someone who loves the written word.  I am someone who loves to write.   And perhaps that is what it actually means to be a Writer.

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About kp

I am a woman and a mother, a sister and a wife. I have called myself a socialist and a feminist, an environmentalist and an activist, a pagan and an atheist. But, at this stage in my life, none of these labels feel right. I am searching; trying to find an inner calm; trying to make peace with life's disappointments; trying to answer the big questions in my own small life.
This entry was posted in Healing & Compassion, Work Life, Writing for your life and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Claiming the Writer Within

  1. Bill Chance says:

    What a nice workspace – I’m trying to de-clutter my writing area and collecting pictures to use as motivation.

    Thanks for sharing.

  2. thank you, i really needed to hear that for me, i too have the battle that you have just come through, i love to write, but i don’t see myself as very good at it, when i compare…i guess, who am i trying to please…

  3. You are a Writer :-) so embrace those urges to write about those little things,, I have found it is those urges which when inspired to follow through bring us the gems .. Thank you Kp for adding your own thoughts to my post..
    My writing space is on my knee on my Laptop which can be anywhere within my home.. as the Urge takes me.. ;-) ~Sue

  4. Oh, yes, dear woman, YOU ARE A WRITER. And I sense a higher plan coming your way, Kim. You have so much to say!

  5. bjas says:

    Kim, you are an amazing writer and an amazing woman — I always enjoy your posts and I am so happy that you are blogging! You have such a gift for this, keep it up.

  6. I’ve missed your writing, and so found myself exploring writing on your blog that I haven’t read before. So much that you write about resonates for me. Like you, I write all day at work, and then come home and can’t wait to blog. But the idea of stepping fully into being a Writer (and particularly, for me, being a Poet) is difficult. For the record, I am always delighted when I see that Afternoon Storm has posted a new piece of writing on her blog :)

    • kp says:

      Wow, what a wonderfully supportive comment! Every so often, I question why I bother blogging. The last few weeks have been one of those times. It is hard to pour your heart out in a post that nobody reads. So, your nomination last week, and your kind words today, mean a lot to me. Thanks….Kim

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