“And of course I mind, specially when I’m thinking with my heart. But life don’t clickety clack down a straight line track, it comes together and it comes apart.” Ferron
Two and half years ago, when I began blogging, I was at a low point in my life. I had been terminated from my job. My son had just moved out. My husband had started a new job that had him travelling to remote communities for weeks at a time. I had lost my job, my colleagues, my son and my husband all within the same year. I felt like my life was falling apart. I felt angry and betrayed; scared and alone; sad and lonely. It was very dark stage in my life.
In that dark place, this blog became my life-line; a place to express my anger, fear and grief; a place to explore the dark depths of my soul. It became a place where I could find affirmations from people in a similar places in their lives; a place where I could find compassionate support. I feel like I have written my way through the darkness. Over the last two and a half years, I have let go…..of my son, my husband, my job, my friends, my role as mother, and my expectations of life. I have prepared myself for my daughter’s departure in the fall. While I am far from settled in my new place in life; I can see the shore. I feel myself straddling the two realities; savouring the dwindling days with my daughter living under my roof, and longing for the freedom that will come when she moves out.
I have not yet stepped into the new stage in my life, but I can feel the stirrings in my soul; of life beyond hearth and home; of dreams that were put on hold. It is time to claim the role of the Crone; of the wise woman who is connected but alone.