Completing a Cycle of Life

Back-yard in SpringFor the last few months, I have been thinking of closing off my blog.  I have been feeling like, maybe, I am done.  I do not feel the NEED to write  each week like I once did.  I feel like I have said what I needed to say; that I have worked my way through a big transition in my life; that I have completed a cycle of life and am ready to move on.  It is a calm feeling.  It is the calm that follows the storm.

I started writing on this blog in January of 2010; a few months after I was terminated unfairly from my job; the year that my husband started travelling for weeks at a time for his work; the year that my son left home for university.  Since then, my husband and I have come very close to leaving our marriage; I have lost my mother to dementia; my daughter has left home for university; our family dog has died; and I have had 2 jobs and 5 contracts.

Backyard in FallIt has been a lonely time; a time of huge changes; a time of losses and grief;  a time of uncertainty. During this time, I have come face to face with my own mortality; I have had a hard look at the illusions that have shaped my life; at the beliefs that I have used to view my self.  I have felt regret about some of the big choices in my life.  I have realized how much of my life is behind me and how little time is left in front of me.  This has been painful work and it has been healing work.

There are still many uncertainties in my life.  I am currently working on a contract that will end in 10 months.  My husband is not sure what will become of his job in the new year.  Our son will graduate next spring and move to a place where he can find a job.  My step-daughter will get married next spring and make Santa Monica her long-term home.  But there have been some internal re-alignments.

Backyard in WinterI am feeling less judgmental of my self and other people.  I am feeling more forgiving, more understanding, and more compassion for my self and for other people.  I am feeling more open; less scared of life; less scared of being alone.  I am taking more pleasure in the simple things; in the many gifts offered by nature; in those moments of connection shared with strangers; in those flashes when I see that my children are going to be wonderful parents.  I am feeling closer to my sisters; more grateful for my husband; more accepting of my extended family; and more appreciation for my neighbours.  I am feeling expansive; excited about the next stage of my life.  And that is a pretty good place to be.

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About kp

I am a woman and a mother, a sister and a wife. I have called myself a socialist and a feminist, an environmentalist and an activist, a pagan and an atheist. But, at this stage in my life, none of these labels feel right. I am searching; trying to find an inner calm; trying to make peace with life's disappointments; trying to answer the big questions in my own small life.
Aside | This entry was posted in Healing & Compassion, Inspiration, Life, Personal Growth, Relationships, Spirituality, Stages of Life, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Completing a Cycle of Life

  1. It sounds Kim as if you are in a good place in your life right now… I am so pleased and Happy for you.. Sometimes we need to pass through those lonely tunnels in our lives in order to emerge through to the light.. And it seems as if you are now ALL well on your way to discovering where you want to be.. And while ever you embrace those energies they will continue to be brought within your lives…
    The circles in life often bring us to that feeling of completion…. And we are now within the phase of the New Moon and whereby the energies in the Universe are showing us all to let go of the past and move forward and embrace the new…
    Wishing you well in your next new phase in life and many blessings in which ever road you take
    Love and Blessings
    Sue xxx

    • kp says:

      Sue, thank you for your kind words. I am so impressed with how, despite all of the people who follow your blog, you make time to read all of our posts. I have really appreciated your support over the last few years while I have worked my way through a dark and scary time. I really do feel like I am ready to step into a new stage in my life. And like you, I do believe in the synchronicities in life, that bring us together with other people. Love and light to you!! Kim

      • I try to catch up once in a while Kim, and can often neglect many for months then have a mad hour catch up LOL on each of them.. I am just so pleased that at last as the planets do their thing you can see Light and promise .. Keep that in focus for what we think is amplified right now.. So bring in the Good things in your lives… and so it will be..
        Love to you Kim.. Big Hugs xxx
        Sue

  2. Pam Bickell says:

    Oh, I would miss your wise and heartfelt posts so much! You opened your heart to the world and shared a lot of personal experiences and inspired us along the way. I truly believe you could write a lovely, touching memoir–you have so much to share, Kim.
    Regardless, we will be in touch by email! Or Skype or however, we will be in touch. Pam

    • kp says:

      Hi Pam: Thanks Pam; your words are really appreciated. I may keep writing but I don’t feel so compelled to do so any more. How about you? You feel somewhat the same? Kim

  3. ‘For everything there is a season…’ Wish you loads of love and happiness for the next season, wherever it takes you. xo

  4. Kim, I hope Christmas has been a beautiful Season for you, and wishing you a wonderful 2014 for you and your family xox Sue xoxox

    • kp says:

      Hi Sue…I am away with my kids (who are 19 and 22) and my hubby at a cabin in the north of Ontario where it is snowy, beautiful and peaceful. SO, all is very well with me. I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season…and that the new year brings you peace and beauty!! Kim

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