Stop Resisting Things Falling Apart?

Bunny beside Sprouting Flowers. KPAn old friend wrote a blog this week about how often we resist things falling apart in our lives.  She was suggesting, in her infinite wisdom, that perhaps, we need to see falling apart and disintegration, not as a failure to be avoided, but as a necessary step in a process that precedes rebirth.  I found myself thinking, “YES!!” as I read her words.

For several years now, it has felt like my life was falling apart.  I went from having a permanent job that paid well with job security, a pension, respect and support, to scrambling for contracts with no financial security or support.  My children have been leaving home.  My husband and I have been growing apart.  My mother has disappeared into the fog  dementia.  My father’s physical health has been slipping.  I have been struggling with this time of “falling apart”.  I have been resisting it; trying desperately to control it.  I have been beating up on myself for choices made.  I have been feeling like a failure and a fool.  As if somehow, the falling apart could have been, should have been, avoided.

Wild Ginger, KP-May 2013And then, a few weeks ago, a woman approached me with an idea; a project we might work on together.   Now we are writing a proposal together; a proposal that could bring me work for the next few years of my life; a proposal that pulls on all the different jobs and contracts and projects that I have done over the last 8 years.  And, I find myself wondering if it was all meant to be; if all of the odds and sods were all a part of a process to bring me to this place; to prepare me for this next stage in my career.

And, if that is the case, perhaps I can trust all of the other ways in which my life is falling apart?  Maybe  I can just let go and trust; trust that things will work out; trust that there will be rebirth in the next stage of my life; and in the world beyond this life?

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About kp

I am a woman and a mother, a sister and a wife. I have called myself a socialist and a feminist, an environmentalist and an activist, a pagan and an atheist. But, at this stage in my life, none of these labels feel right. I am searching; trying to find an inner calm; trying to make peace with life's disappointments; trying to answer the big questions in my own small life.
This entry was posted in Empty Nest, Healing & Compassion, Life, Personal Growth, Spirituality, Stages of Life, Work Life, Writing, Writing for your life and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Stop Resisting Things Falling Apart?

  1. I needed these words today. thank you.

  2. Pam Bickell says:

    Awesome news, Kim! And, yes, ultimately, we all come to the place of yielding to the Great Plan, even if it is kicking and screaming. :) All is working for your highest good. Love, Pam

    • kp says:

      Hi Pam…LOL…for some of us, it is always kicking and screaming, But it is ever so sweet when we get a little glimpse of the plan and have a sense that there is, perhaps, a plan. Lots of Love back….Kim

  3. Big smiles Kim, I hope this project takes off. I am a huge believer in that our lives are planned down to the tiniest of details, and all those jobs etc will stand you in very good stead for this project to come… The Universe Does know what its doing.. in hind-sight when I look back it did.. But at the time we live through our problems we doubt we are on the right track…. Great news I am reading here.. Good luck with this… Love Sue xox

    • kp says:

      Thanks Sue…. it is like we get these little glimpses that tell us that we are in alignment with some plan or purpose that is beyond our control. :)

  4. If things don’t fall apart how can they come together in a new way? If you watch any natural process.for example the life cycle of a tree there are phases of death and release as a precursor for new life. If we try to cut out this part of the cycle.. which our culture tries to do all the time. we set up a big problem and go against the flow of nature. Its not always easy to let go but only in letting go is their release to a new way of being. Spot on blog… :)

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